Ryslig Application.

[observitude]

OOC INFORMATION
Name: Goblin.
Contact: goblinhood.
Other Characters:
Rachel “Ray” Gardner (sweartoyou).

CHARACTER INFORMATION
Character Name: Charles Eyler.
Age: 18 (at time of death).
Canon: Hello Charlotte.
Canon Point: Childhood’s End - True End.
Character Information: Charles’s wiki page, but it's pretty sparse, so here's a quick overview.

∙ Lilith and Seth Eyler get pregnant, but Seth has Lilith abort the baby. She has a mental breakdown.
∙ The Eylers get pregnant again. Seth leaves and Lilith keeps the baby, giving birth to Charles Eyler. Because of her declining mental state, she confuses him with the first, terminated child she didn't have and refers to him as her daughter, Scarlett.
∙ Charles begins having delusions of Scarlett telling him how to live, and harms himself when he doesn't live up to her standards. One punishment results in the death of his cat due to forced neglect/improper feeding.
∙ Charles cares for his mother, works hard in school, and gets one friend, Anri Warhol. Charles does art commissions to support them when child support isn't enough. He and Anri fake-date, and he meets an online writer named "C" who he admires. They become friends, though Charles uses the handle "Charlotte" online.
∙ "C" confesses he's planning to commit suicide. Charles agrees to be there with him when it happens.
∙ They meet and Charles learns C's real name is Vincent. They find comfort in each other, but Vincent still kills himself. Despite medication, Scarlett remains harsh and near-constant from the trauma of seeing Vincent's dead body. Charles dissociates almost entirely.
∙ Anri's moving away. Charles suggests they run away and go to a hotel. Charles offers Anri a handful of pills and when she realizes this is what he meant, she hits and kisses him, and he views her as a parasite. They talk about their problems. Anri moves. Charles's view of the world is distorted, with nearly everyone taking on that parasite face, including his mom.
∙ Charles tells Scarlett she's just a manifestation of his own self-hatred. He takes full control again, but only so he can drown himself.
∙ In death, a world made entirely of himself was created called the World. While he's its god, Charles could only travel while using another body, usually calling himself "C" or "Umbrella Man".
∙ Charles visits Charlotte Wiltshire, based on his "ideal" protagonist he wrote once, as Umbrella Man and gives her a yellow ribbon to differentiate her from other Charlottes. Later this is revealed to be because this particular one is the reincarnation of Scarlett.
∙ He tries to break Scarlotte to get revenge for how she tortured him while he was alive, but Scarlett Eyler no longer exists. Charles accepts this after spending time in the vessel of Vincent, calling himself C, god of the world, and reminding Scarlotte of the things she mocked him for in life, but Scarlotte accepts him with compassion.
∙ Charles befriends a selfish Charlotte, Q84, that hasn't fallen into the same narrative traps as the others. When Q84 activates her parasite and begins to deteriorate, Charles meets Imposter Umbrella Man and begs him to save Q84. Defective Charlottes don't have the parasite, so he moves Q84 to one. Together they end Scarlett's suffering as a Charlotte like Umbrella Man wishes. Once Scarlett's soul is freed, Charles kills Mother to stop Charlotte production, ending his World's purpose.

Personality:
Charles adopted a nihilistic worldview pretty early on in life, even if he didn't truly implement it until after his death, when he became a god/the universe. As there is nothing more “after”, he tried to live for himself and find his own meaning that mattered to him. In life, he spent his time assisting his mother and forcing himself to be an ideal child, but when he accepted how hard he was becoming on himself and that it wasn't right, he switched to searching for his own enjoyment, even if this still included a focus on enriching others’ lives. Both of these ways of living gave him the strength to go on existing even while he was abjectly suffering.

In addition to waiting on his sickly mother’s every need during life, Charles now makes sure to take care of her giant, parasitic existence in his new World without complaint, as well as keeping up with various Charlottes and their lives. He waits out each of their stories patiently while acting as a (sometimes annoying) support, and often comes up against particularly cruel people that will mentally and physically abuse him in various ways even as he tries to remain a side character. Spending all that time at another's side creates a sort of bond, and Charles takes the time he's given to get to know others or care for them at their pace rather than setting his own, strengthening the bond on at least one side. It doesn't often benefit him in obvious, explicit ways, but his inherently calm, understanding nature keeps him from falling apart or exploding at others -- potentially literally, since he's a god and stuff. Probably not, though. When he was alive, he was able to make enough money doing art commissions to support himself and his mother after child support funds ran out. It wasn't only financially beneficial, but also allowed him to connect with people through his art and writing, though he didn't realize the impact of this until much later. The depth of his two real friendships in life were a result of his creative pursuits, and the World born after his death is basically a dream triggered by his creative thoughts and his beliefs. Lots of horrible things may have happened there, but it allowed him time and a playground to work through his problems at his own pace, as many times as he needed. Creativity had always been an outlet for him, but when it became his reality, the escapism he allowed himself to enjoy turned into an elaborate series of life lessons. Death lessons? Anyway, point is that he had a stable enough money situation and became much more stable mentally after...a while. Far from the ideal he craved so much.

Wanting to do well isn't a terrible goal, especially for one who’s essentially a god, but Charles takes it to extremes. He’s able to get most things done, but when he doesn't -- or when he decides that what he's produced isn't good enough -- he’ll punish himself in various ways. His mental illness and desire to do better caused him to actively physically, emotionally, and psychologically harm himself on a frequent basis. His mysophobia probably developed from this as well, since he’s associated cleanliness and purity with ideals.

As much as he hates it, Charles feels a lot for those around him. When confronted with a disaster or the sacrifices he wants to make for the sake of others, he’ll go into a big depressive spiral until he’s completely empty (or convinces himself he's empty.) His love wells run deep and extend to those others would dismiss, given the fact that he's spent so much time overanalyzing situations that he's come to feel for their worldview as well. This understanding is good in short doses, but the lack of a barrier between himself and his feelings leads to him overidentifying with a problem or even just having such a surge of negative emotions for something he can't fix in any way. Feeling so deeply combines with his lack of self-worth, creating a blind spot over the full impact of the lengths he'll go to for others, or at least making these potentially severe sacrifices seem acceptable. To protect himself from how deeply he gets affected by things if he lets himself dwell on them, Charles instead chooses to swing so far in the other direction that he blatantly lies and jokes to deflect his and others’ feelings. One example is a Valentine’s doodle that shows him in a serious internet discussion using anime icons and insisting to his date/girlfriend that he doesn't even own a phone. He almost always has a smile on his face if he's spending time with a peer to hide behind. While this can be fun, it's also a huge deficit in his relationships with others. They aren't able to recognize the mess of feelings he has for them because he's usually hiding that side of him behind a wall. A potentially very annoying wall. A wall many people have expressed interest in punching.

5-10 Key Character Traits:
- Creative.
- Self-destructive.
- Mysophobic.
- Lonely.
- Perfectionist.
- Judgmental.
- Compassionate.
- Loathes self.
Would you prefer a monster that FITS your character’s personality, CONFLICTS with it, EITHER, or opt for 100% RANDOMIZATION? Fitting.
Opt-Outs:
Manticore.
Kelpie.
Werebear.
Vampire.
Naga.

Roleplay Sample:
Awash April 2018 tdm and this thread, too. Here is one where he's acting more as “C”.

Comments

[sweartoyou]

When you're a little boy and your world is upside down because you're struggling to take care of a mother that believes you to be your dead sister and heaps the praises you've worked hard for onto her rather than who you truly are, it's easy to lose will to continue. It's easy to come to the conclusion that nothing you do matters, or will ever matter, and all those things everyone else does? That stuff doesn't really matter, either. It was a source of heaviness on his mind for years as he tried to fight against the reality that came with his belief, pushing himself to be better and losing more of himself each and every time, but eventually he took comfort in it. While he still tried to do his best and was influenced by perfectionism, his self-punishing tendencies remained steady instead of worsening, and even decreased at times, and he allowed himself times of calm. Nothing he did would cause an impact on the universe, so he didn't have to worry himself to death over it, and all that mattered was his little interactions with those he cared about. He could devote energy to loving those he loved and getting by through the rest of it. In death, while he was a god of the world he created, he could have taken that as the opportunity to prove Nietzsche wrong -- god wasn't dead, he was right here! But rather than exert his will over his creations, Charles decided to sit back and let life play out as it would, without overall impact.

More often than not, the reason for a person being judgmental stems from insecurity, and Charles is no exception. Since he spends so much energy being hypercritical of himself, it's no surprise that he turns that same eye to others and their actions. He has a need for things to be just so -- perfect -- and while he doesn't expect others to meet that expectation as well, he finds it disappointing when they don't. He's disappointed by the life around him, because even if he finds the chaotic concept beautiful in theory, in reality it's messy. And he can't...deal with mess. He's so heavily mysophobic that he can be found wearing gloves more often than not, and he'll stick to solid blacks and whites instead of something that will be more ambiguous. Coupled with his presumed schizophrenia, the disgust and panic he feels for germs and the unclean leads to hallucinations of rotting, leeching masses where faces should be. Seeing people as parasites is telling of the constant undercurrent he has of believing that the world has very few Givers and is made up instead of Takers -- these people, these distorted versions of those around him, embody their wicked nature and turn it into something visual to occupy his disgust. People are bad. People are parasites. Parasites are disgusting. People are disgusting. But he still tries to push past that and give everything he's got, because he believes in moving on by putting your best foot forward. Just...hopefully a foot that won't step in someone else's garbage or end up in his mouth.